31 January 2006

Jack Bauer calls chicken beef

This is the most hilarious collection of Jack Bauer “facts” I’ve ever seen.

Via John “Solid Body” Reynolds.

What color is Jack Bauer’s blood?  Trick question.  Jack Bauer does not bleed.

Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.

3 Responses to “Jack Bauer calls chicken beef”

  1. Peter Ostrovski Says:
    February 1st, 2006 at 11:54 pm

    In related news, these bear absolutely no resemblance to the ironic Chuck Norris quotes. Nope, none whatsoever.

  2. Taylor Says:
    February 2nd, 2006 at 7:08 pm

    Yeah, but the torturing/terrorist part give Jack a foothold over Chuck.

    My favorite: “Jack Bauer” is Arabic for “I’m fucked”.

  3. Scott Says:
    February 2nd, 2006 at 7:39 pm

    ‘Tis true, Petey, Norris was the trendsetter. But Bauer is the record-breaker.

    My top pick:

    Jack Bauer won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn’t a big deal. He thinks yellow wristbands are gay.

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